


On Purpose

by TheMeaningofHaste



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, M/M, Poor Tony, and likes to shoot those tiny suction cup arrow all the time, bruce likes to cook big feasts, clint is a five year old, everybody hangs out in avengers tower, natasha is secretly the mastermind of his pranks, they like to educate thor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 16:32:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1695032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMeaningofHaste/pseuds/TheMeaningofHaste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that the Avengers have all moved in to the tower, life is getting back to normal. The only problem is that Tony keeps walking in on Steve and Bucky in the act. By the third time, he's pretty sure they're doing it on purpose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my sister for helping build this ridiculous headcanon and demanding suction cups EVERYWHERE.

 

 

"Clint! Get your bow slinging Legolas ass back here!" Tony yelled as thick pudding slowly dripped down his face and on to what had been, until moments ago, his favorite sweater. He grimaced as some slipped in to his mouth when he yelled. Tapioca. Who ate that crap anyways? He would have to make sure JARVIS forbid the vile food from being added to the shopping list.

 

Tony turned to make his way to the closest shower he could find, tripping over a small plastic suction cup arrow and grumbling as the soft pearls squished under every step. How had it gotten in his socks already anyways? "Goddamn fish eggs. No one should be forced to eat something that has the texture of slime that can also be potentially lethal when uncooked."

Ever since Tony had finished rebuilding the Avengers tower the entire team had assembled for good under its vast roof. With SHIELD at least temporarily disbanded it was important that the world saw a united front. What the world didn't see was that their merry band of crime fighters could put a fraternity to shame on their best days. Clint took a particular interest in keeping things 'interesting', littering the tower with childish suction cup arrows.

 The gym was located on the same floor as the pool where Tony had been testing some of the water sensitive aspects of his suit before Clint's juvenile attempt at humor. Tony eased one of the doors open, careful not to spread around too much of a mess, even if he refused to be the one to clean it up.

 "Oh shit. Bucky. Yes. Right there."

 Tony stopped in his tracks, the offending pudding momentarily forgotten as he tried to process the sight before him.

 Spread across one of the tennis courts Steve was lying on the ground, focused intently on the head bobbing between his legs. He groaned loudly and seemed to be losing the battle between keeping his hips still and fucking the mouth on him.  A glint of metal shone across the room as Barnes slid his metal arm up Steve's chest to roll the nub of a nipple between those surprisingly dexterous and agile fingers.

 "Fucking shit Bucky," Steve cursed, pounding a fist against the wooden court in an attempt at self control. If Tony could tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him he would have been annoyed at the new fractures in his previously pristine floors.

 "Oh come on! Get a room! Well okay, this is technically a room, get a better room!" Tony hollered once the shock faded. The two men immediately stilled and Barnes pulled off with a wet pop that echoed across the room.

 "I'll never play tennis again," Tony grumbled as he ran a hand through his hair, ignoring the sticky pudding, and tried to focus on anything but the two men frantically trying to scramble back in to their trousers.

 Steve jumped to his feet, his face bright red and Tony didn't want to think too hard about whether it was from embarrassment or his previous exertion.

 "Tony! We were... Just uh..." Steve struggled for the right words as he tried to smooth some of the wrinkles out of his clothes, as if that would make it any less obvious what he had just been in the middle of.

 “I can guess just what you were doing." Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to regain some semblance of composure. Behind Steve, still reclining on the floor, Barnes smirked. Smug son of a bitch.

 If it was possible Steve turned an even darker shade of red. Tony sighed, suddenly remembering why he was in the gym in the first place. "Look, I'm happy for you guys, really. It's nice to see two senior citizens find love in their old age." He started to make his way back to the showers, keeping a healthy distance between them. "Together you two have almost an entire floor to yourselves. Isn't that enough room that you don't need to traumatize those of us who are more pure of heart?"

 Barnes snorted, apparently amused by his claim of purity. Tony couldn't really blame the soldier for that but feigned offense anyways.

 "Sorry Tony, won't happen again," Steve mumbled, his eyes firmly focused on the toe of one of his sneakers. Barnes lifted himself of the ground, more graceful than he had any right to be. The two of them made their way to the doors, Steve still having the good graces to look slightly embarrassed. Barnes whispered something that Tony couldn't make out and if the pinch he planted on Steve's ass was any indication, he didn't want to know what Barnes had said anyways.

 As they turned out in to the hall Tony made it the rest of the way to the showers. Standing under the hot water, washing a starchy mess down the drain, he fought desperately to wash those images from his mind as well.

 

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

"Come on Buck, Bruce has spent all day in the kitchen again making this meal," Steve said as he finished buttoning his shirt.

Bucky groaned from his position splayed across the couch, one leg kicked over the back, fiddling with a suction cup arrow that had found its way into their apartment somehow. "Come on Steve, I haven't even been back in the States for an hour. I'm pretty sure I could miss out on this one without hurting Bruce's delicate feelings."

 Steve rolled his eyes and knocked Bucky's boot on to the floor as he walked past. "Buck up soldier." He began rummaging through the closet, looking for something that he deemed appropriate for Bucky to wear. "Besides, since when did you turn down a free meal?"

 "Since I could think of a more interesting way of spending my first night home in a month." Bucky sat up and shot Steve a grin and a wink.

 

Steve cleared his throat and pulled out a black dress shirt and a pair of jeans. "I'll make it up to you later," he promised as he shoved the clothes in Bucky's direction.

 "You better punk."

 "Jerk," Steve grumbled back fondly. "Now hurry up. Thor is stopping by."

In a flash Bucky was up and tearing off his tactical vest. Ever since they had first met, Bucky had been fascinated by the demigod. Steve tried, and failed, to suppress a laugh as he watched his best friend trip over his pants in his hurry.

 

xxx

 

Not five minutes later the pair made it up to the kitchen where Bruce had spent most of the day working and refusing any help. Apparently just because they were superheroes didn't mean they knew anything about cooking.

 "Haven't you gotten bored poking me with sharp objects just to test my reactions?" They heard Bruce sigh. He was stirring a large pot and trying valiantly to ignore Tony who had a pair of kabob sticks in his hands.

"It's for an experiment my large and in charge friend," Tony said as he attempted to poke Bruce in between his ribs. "You know how important science experiments are."

 "Let him be Tony," Steve said as he pulled up a chair at the kitchen table next to Natasha. He tried to give Tony his best ‘Captain America is disappointed in you’ face. "He's going to stick you with the clean up again if you're not careful."

 Tony scoffed at the idea. "That's what Dummy is for," he said, gesturing with one skewer to the robot in the corner that was diligently cutting up herbs and draped in an absurd French maid costume, a smiley face made out of suction cups on its base.

 Bucky dropped into the chair beside Steve, twisting the cap off a beer with his metal hand. "Where's Clint?" He asked Natasha, trying his best to ignore the commotion in the kitchen.

 "I think he's trying to convince Thor to help him in whatever his next scheme is. Maybe there was a sale at the toy store." Natasha tried to look disapproving as she peeled an arrow off the table, but the slight twitch at the corners of her mouth betrayed her. While Clint was notorious for his various stunts, Bucky was convinced that Natasha was the real mastermind.

 "Speak of the Devil," Bucky said as the doors burst open. Thor's laughter boomed across the room as he dragged Clint inside, his arm thrown across Clint's shoulders.

 "Wow Barnes that was almost colloquial, I'm impressed. Just in time my feathered friend," Tony called. "Help me get some of this food on the table!" He gestured to the array of platters behind him with a glint in his eye. Steve stood to try and help but was interrupted before he could offer his assistance.

 "Don't bother Cap," Clint said with a grin as he picked up a pair of loaded plates. "Stark here is still trying to punish me for the amazing stunt I allegedly pulled yesterday."

 "He hacked in to my shop computer so that it would only answer me in ridiculous knock knock jokes," Tony grumbled as he pulled up another chair. Steve would have sworn that he heard Natasha chuckle next to him but when he shot a glance at her she looked just as composed as ever.

 "I told it to calibrate the suits new flight propulsion system and you know what it said? 'Knock knock.' 'Who's there?' 'Orange.' 'Orange who?' 'Orange you glad that propulsion systems are fully operational and will be ready at your command.'" Tony rolled his eyes as Clint snickered, placing the last bowl of food on the table. "I mean come on. That's not even a joke!"

 "Fret not Tony, not all can be fearsome warriors. There must always be those who are valuable for what you call comedic relief," Thor piped in with a grin.

 Clint sat shocked, his mouth hanging open as he looked to Natasha to come to his defense. She just shot him a grin from over her wine glass.

 "Alright children, dig in before it gets cold," Bruce said as he took his seat.

 "What country are we visiting today doc?" Steve asked as he picked up the platter closest to him. Bruce could always be counted on to try to keep the peace in the tower and Steve felt obligated to assist him when he could.

 "Finland. I spent a few months near the mountains up North. I got a chance to try some of their more traditional foods. I made blood sausages, bread cheese with lingon berry jam, stuffed cabbage rolls, pea soup, a cabbage casserole, beet root salad, rice porridge pies, pickles herring, and boiled cabbage." Bruce began piling heaping portions of everything on to his plate as the platters worked their way around the table.

 "I'm sensing a cabbage-y theme," Bucky mumbled as he looked warily at the food in front of him. Steve kicked him under the table and smirked at the face Bucky made.

 " I am not familiar with this cabbage-y theme the Soldier of Winter is talking about, however I have yet to meet a food the good doctor here cannot cook with great skill," Thor declared as he piled an extra link of blood sausage on to his plate.

 "Here here!" Tony said, raising his glass in salute, watching Bruce squirm under the attention with glee.

 "I hear the mountains are incredible," Natasha said after a few minutes of companionable silence. "It must have been very relaxing up there."

 "Nat my dear they are practically alive with the sound of music," Tony interrupted, shooting Bruce a grin. "I'm sure they're just as relaxing as that famous Finnish death metal."

 "What is this metal of death?" Thor asked, momentarily forgetting about the fork raised halfway to his mouth. "Is it similar to the great Vibranium of Captain Roger's shield? Why is this Land of Fin so full of such a rare element? More importantly what sort of powerful magic is responsible for making the land formations musical?"

 Clint and Bucky snickered in to their drinks, always amused by the demigod's ignorance of pop culture. If Steve was being really honest he would have to admit he was glad there was someone who occasionally knew even less about this new world than he did.

 Natasha launched in to an explanation of the Sound of Music but Steve never got to hear any of it before he was distracted by the hand moving slowly up his thigh. He swallowed his bite of cabbage and tried to ignore the feeling of cool metal seeping through the fabric of his trousers. A glance to his right showed Bucky in conversation with Clint about the true merits of an arrow, seemingly oblivious to the discomfort he was causing Steve.

 The metal fingers ghosted up to his hip before trailing back down. They continued this torturous pattern through the rest of the meal, leaving Steve flustered and focused on maintaining his composure. If the glances that Natasha kept shooting him where any indication, he was doing a rather poor job of it.

 "Sergeant, how was your mission?" She asked with a smirk. "Poor Steve was just a _mess_ while you were gone."

 Steve glowered at his plate and was trying to think of the best way to get back at her when he felt Bucky's hand come to rest over the bulge in his trousers. He jerked in surprise which sent him in to a coughing fit as he choked on his food.

 Bucky's mouth was quirked in a grin when he turned to answer. He gave her the details of how his squad had tracked an arms dealer to the base of some mountains in Mongolia and had spent the better part of two weeks trying to pin down the exact location of his camp in such dense terrain. "It was almost like being back with the Commandos," he said as trailed his thumb lightly up and down the seam, creating just enough friction to keep Steve agitated next to him.

 "Well that was another fantastic meal Bruce and I personally can't wait to see what you prepared for dessert," Steve interrupted, trying to ignore how his voice had dropped during Bucky's miniature torture session. Thankfully Tony and Thor were in a hearty argument over how something that was not technically made of any metal could still bear its name.

 Bruce blushed at the praise and began to grab at the empty platters. Natasha stood to help him, pulling Clint out of his chair by his collar as she shot Bucky a wink. With everyone preoccupied Steve shot out of his chair and pulled Bucky forcefully out of the room by his sleeve. In seconds they were out in the hall and Steve had his laughing friend pushed up against the wall.

 "Problem Captain?" Bucky grinned; delighted at the way Steve loomed over him. “It seems as though you were having a _hard_ time concentrating at dinner tonight."

 Steve growled as he lunged forward to quiet Bucky the best way he knew how. The kiss was harsh and desperate as the two soldiers fought for control. Steve nipped at his lower lip as he ground his hips in search of contact.

 Bucky broke away from the kiss with a groan, letting his head fall back against the wall. Steve turned his attentions to the newly exposed skin, kissing his way further down before grazing his teeth up.

 "You are a goddamn tease Barnes," he murmured into Bucky's ear, taking in the shiver that ran down his back.

 "Oh Stevie, you always say the sweetest things to me."

 Steve huffed and pulled Bucky off of the wall and slipped a hand under his thigh to lift him off the ground. Bucky grinned as he wrapped his legs around Steve's waist. "I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the idea of you being big enough to pick me up," Bucky said as he fisted a hand in that ridiculously blonde hair.

 Steve groaned and backed into the nearest open doorway, kicking the door shut behind them. A small light cast a dim glow over what turned out to be the bathroom. Bucky pulled him in for another kiss as Steve lowered him gently on to the counter.

 "God I missed you," Steve grumbled as Bucky shifted against him. Every time Bucky left to run a mission for SHIELD Steve worried that this time Bucky would leave him for good. This would be the mission that took away their second chance.

 "Likewise punk," Bucky said as he brought his metal arm in between them, thumbing at the clasp on Steve's belt. With ease he soon had Steve's trousers open who groaned as some of the pressure on his cock was released.

 "Jerk," Steve breathed out as Bucky brushed his fingers teasingly up the underside before sneaking his hand under the waistband of Steve's boxers. Steve groaned and tried to make quick work of Bucky's trousers to reciprocate. His hands were clumsy as Bucky stroked over him lightly, brushing his thumb over the head with every thrust.

 They were both too lost in each other to hear the footsteps out in the hall or the knob turn on the door.

 "Jesus tap dancing Christ on a cracker!"

 The light flicked on and Bucky's hand stilled as they broke apart, panting for breath. Tony stood in the doorway, his face a mask of surprised horror as he took in the sight. He dropped his forehead against the half open door. "The lord is testing me. That has to be it," he grumbled.

 Steve pulled his hand out of Bucky's pants as he felt his face go red in embarrassment. "Shit Tony I-"

 Tony held up a hand to stop him. "You know what Cap, I don't think I want to hear it." Pulling himself upright, Tony turned to walk away. "Dessert is ready and Thor wants to watch the Sound of Music and Hawk is gleefully looking through his music for something called 'Deathklok'." He called over his shoulder as he quickly turned the corner.

 Bucky let out a huff of laughter as the door swung shut. Steve pulled away and made to start buttoning up his pants when metal fingers wrapped around his wrist.  

 "Hey, where do you think you're going?" Bucky's legs tightened around his waist, locking him in place. He pulled Steve back in for a soft kiss and shot him that same cocky grin that Steve could never say no to.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

"I'm sorry Tony but I still think your calculations are wrong!"      

Tony threw up a hand in disbelief. "My calculations are wrong? Do you even hear yourself?"

 Tony and Bruce had been camped in the hallway for the better part of the afternoon, trying to improve upon the user interface for the weapons locker. Tony was convinced that with a little tweaking to the inner circuit boards they could bypass the need for a traditional power source to run the whole interactive locker system. When he had rebuilt Stark Tower and turned it into the Avengers Tower this floor had been untouched and he was itching for a remodel. Changing the circuitry would be simple. What they couldn't agree on was the best way to achieve access blindly through the flooring to one board without possibly damaging the ones packed in around it.

 "Believe it or not but you have been known to make a mistake," Bruce said as he tucked his glasses back in to his pocket. There was little point in arguing with Tony when he thought he was right but Bruce was not about to let him jeopardize the mainframe of the tower when he was clearly wrong.

 “I don't believe it. Give me a specific instance. Name one, just one time when my calculations were even slightly off."

 Bruce rolled his eyes. He could think of eight, just off the top of his head. "What about last week when you wanted to increase the preheating speed of the ovens and accidently blew up half of the kitchen because you forgot to blow out the pilot lights?"

 Tony frowned at the memory. They still had to order take out daily for that little mishap. "Fine maybe you have one example but that was different! Besides it was clearly your job to remind me. "

"You're right, it was my fault." Bruce shook his head and knelt down to look over the blue prints again, tossing the plastic arrow that was stuck on top of them over his shoulder. "Remind me again why you thought it would be a good idea to put the system in floor."

 Tony shrugged as he turned his attention to the small laser he had swiped from one of SHIELD's abandoned laboratories. "Sounded like a good idea at the time."

 "Are you really sure that's the best tool for the job? Fury burned through about three feet of concrete with that thing. It's hardly a precision device."

 "Hey, not all of us can turn in to giant green rage monsters when we want to rip through something." Tony smirked, popping the casing back on, satisfied with his adjustments. "Stop worrying so much Brucey Bruce. You've got the greatest scientific mind of the century working with you here."

 "The most modest too." Bruce took a few healthy steps back, not wanting to be too close when the inevitable occurred.

 "That didn't sound very confident. JARVIS, tell Bruce here to stop worrying."

 A voice came through the speakerphone on Tony’s laptop. "Dr. Banner, Mr. Stark would like to advise you that excessive worry is not necessary."

 Bruce rolled his eyes again. If it was possible for AI to be exasperated, he was pretty sure JARVIS would be.  "Fine, I'm not worried. Please go ahead with your idiotic, poorly prepared plan."

 Tony beamed up at him before sliding a pair of welding goggles in to place. "Alright, starting at 2% power." He flipped the switch and in an instant the laser was slicing cleanly through the first inch of the concrete floor. "Excellent! Increasing to 5% power."

 Before Tony could make the adjustment the laser swerved out of control and blazed in intensity. Even with his goggles in place, Bruce raised a hand to block the glare. Tony fought to cut the power off as the floor began to crumble beneath him. Chunks started to fall away as Tony got the laser off. He scrambled back just in time before a two foot hole was created, bits of concrete and the exposed circuitry raining down into the room below.

 The lights began to flicker out as one by one the circuitry controlling the upper half of the tower lost power. It was pitch black for a few long moments before the emergency generator kicked on. "Emergency generators on and fully operational sir. Lighting will resume over the next three minutes and the tower is now operating under security profile 481."

 "Thank you JARVIS," Tony mumbled in shock. Bruce knelt to look him over, checking for any injuries. In the silence they heard harsh whispering coming from the direction of the hole followed by a loud groan. Tony quirked an eyebrow and jerked his head towards the hole. The rooms below them were primarily used for filing and storage; they should have been empty. Together they knelt down to peer through the dim lighting as voices rose up through the floor.

 "I swear to fuck Steve, I don't care if the sky itself is falling, if you stop I will kill you."

 Tony shut his eyes with a grimace as they heard a low groan and the sounds of skin hitting skin. "You have _got_ to be kidding me! That's it. You're doing this on purpose now aren't you?"

Bruce looked up at him, eyes wide as he realized what was happening below them. The lights in the storage room began to flicker on and Tony couldn't help but crack open an eye to look.

 Bucky was pushed across one of the desks, metal and flesh hands both gripping the edge so hard that the wood was beginning to fracture and warp. Steve had his trousers down around his ankles and was thrusting with force that would snap any normal person in half.

 "I knew it! Pay up Tony!" Bruce hollered, holding his hand out in the direction of the mortified billionaire.

 Steve stilled, looking up at them horrified, and Tony would have sworn he heard Bucky whimper.

 "Dammit Barnes, you couldn't have been pitching just this once?" Tony grumbled as he pulled out his wallet. "First I'm forced to witness this on a regular basis and now I'm losing money because of it."

 "Two grand pal." Bruce grinned as he brushed some dust off his jeans.

 "Fine but I need a drink." Tony began to walk away as he counted bills, doing his best to ignore Bruce's gloating beside him.

 One floor down Steve ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed at being caught by poor Tony again. "What was that about?"

 Beneath him Bucky wriggled his hips, trying to get Steve to move again. "There was a bet about which of us is on top when we fuck," he groaned.

 Steve let out a huff of laughter. "And you knew about it. That's why you've been begging me to fuck you at every chance you get all month."

Bucky turned and gave him a grin. "Well I couldn't let Stark win, could I?"

**Author's Note:**

> \- Sorry for the over details with the dinner, I spent hours researching Finnish food and geography and felt the need to include some of it.
> 
> \- I might add on to this happy universe, because all the other Stucky I'm writing is leaving me with way too many feels.
> 
> \- Based off this ridiculous headcanon:
> 
> Now that the avengers all live in avengers tower:
> 
> Clint likes to play pranks on people constantly. Natasha secretly encourages him, giving him ideas while pretending to condone them
> 
> Bruce likes to make large feasts for everyone each one based on the cuisine of one of the villages he spent time in while on the run pre avengers
> 
> Ton keeps walking in on tony and bucky. The first time Steve is embarrassed while bucky just looked smug after. After that though it keeps happening and tony is starting to think they're doing it on purpose
> 
> Thor comes to visit once a week and tony makes it his mission to make them all do some sort if group activity that Thor has never done. Movies, drinking games, etc
> 
> Bruce and tony are constantly spending days in his workshop being science bros.
> 
> Tony is always trying to improve the building but usually just ends up blowing something up.


End file.
